PoF Leak: Even a king loves presents


Yesterday was Bouteflika’s birthday. He is 78. The president threw a party to celebrate it and invited many guests. PoF source, who was among them, contacted us earlier this morning to share the below information. They made little sense and I cannot tell if it was because they were drunk (they sounded both drunk and tired) but they’ve always proven reliable. According to our source, the initial plan was to hold a bigger party. All Tlemcen was to be invited and the whole thing was supposed to last seven days and seven nights non-stop. But as crude oil price remained low, the party’s been reduced to a single night and only Nedroma people were invited. Even the huge fireworks had been cancelled. This post’s title is a Kabyle proverb. And as Bouteflika is no less than a monarch, he too loves and deserves presents. I wrote a lot about the present he received last year, a sort of ultimate present which would make any other present look worthless. So selecting this year’s present was a challenge for many guests (most of the guests never bothered and came in only to eat, drink, make connections and secure presents for themselves). Our source told us that some of these guests had been thinking for a long time, some since last year, about it and couldn’t find anything that could compete with last year’s present. This is probably why a secret side meeting had been held during the Fikra event two weeks ago. This year’s Fikra conference was about being successful or “Réussir” as they say in French. And it was only natural that the side meeting was called “Réussir son idée de cadeau“. Many personalities, politicians and businessmen, debated during two days and finally reached the conclusion that their present should be an idea (Fikra in French Arabic) they would submit to the president. They wanted to stay within the “Fikra” concept and also knew that nothing material would beat last year’s present. Each guest would then come up with an idea written on the back of the president’s official poster and titled “تعاهدنا مع بوتفليقة”. Before our source felt really dizzy and, as I suspect, lost consciousness, they could share a few presents/ideas given by the major guests:

  • Issad Rebrab suggested to acquire the Val-de-Grace hospital and open a smaller Tell-Smina hospital in Algiers. Bouteflika would of course be welcome any time in any of the two.
  • Ali Haddad refused to show his present since Rebrab gave his before him. Too bad, I was curious to know what it was.
  • Joseph Ged’s present was his idea about denying his company’s ads money to any media that would criticize Algeria or Qatar. The idea was a few days old but Bouteflika hadn’t heard about it since he only watches French TV and they didn’t mention it.
  • General Hamel came in with idea of containing all the shale gas related protests in In Salah (and elsewhere). A former Army officer, Hamel had already acted but he chose to hide the results from the president. Don’t forget how Bouteflika got his ischemic attach.
  • Louisa Hanoune wasn’t at the Fikra event and came with some flowers. She wanted to apologise for her recent statements and also suggest to use those flowers as a replacement of the ones we see on TV. I guess Bouteflika wasn’t in a forgiving mood as the PT leader hadn’t been allowed.
  • Amar Saidani suggested to produce a song with Cheb Khaled chanting the National Anthem over Saidani’s derbouka beat.
  • Chakib Khelil couldn’t be there but made sure to send his present to his old friend. Our source says it was a proposal to sell 51% of Sonatrach’s total shares to some obscure American group though a small company called CKDeals.
  • Ramtane Lamamra came in with the draft piece agreement signed in Algiers by the Malian government and some Malian rebel groups.
  • Abdelmalek Sellal’s present was a set of jokes he wanted the president to approve before saying them in public.
  • General Toufik’s present was….. Here our source passed out. I wonder if it was a coincidence.

I am not good at singing and I am no fan of Marilyn Monroe so all I can do is share the famous song’s lyrics

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday Mr President

Happy birthday to you

 

Thanks, Mr President

For all the things you’ve done

The battles that you’ve won

The way you deal with D.Z. Oil

And our problems by the ton

We thank you so much

5 thoughts on “PoF Leak: Even a king loves presents

  1. Your sarcasm is great ! I like how you talk about many event in a mini story-like article !
    One can learn a lot just by (enjoying) reading this🙂
    What I like the most is that your sarcasm is based on facts, not speculations !

    By the way, why you … don’t like the “Fikra” event ?

    • Cheers Random, the point was indeed to share links for those who do not follow the news coming from Algeria.

      Fikra? Somebody said it’s because I haven’t been invited🙂 Seriously though, it is not that I don’t like it. I think it is a useless social gathering and don’t understand the fuss around it… I mean some are close to saying this event is going to change Algeria. For God sake!

      • Come to think of it, don’t know who are you :p You may be a great scientist😀 But I guess that you aren’t this kind of person😄

        You are right if you don’t like these kind of event : “all talks, no action !”. You may have the same opinion about “Nebni” I guess (I don’t know if you are a member of nebni :p )

        But seriously, how many year did Massali ELHADJ spend talking, until the youngsters understood that they need to “act” ! [this is an over simplification🙂 ]

        I mean, this may be a first step🙂 I have never been to those kind of event, but I believe they are a good opportunity to meet people of “action”. Fikra won’t change Algeria, but perhaps, it will change the life of a participant.

        Anyway ! I like the way you talk about it :3 And I widely agree with you😉

        • I am not with Nabni but I am acquainted with some of its members.
          It is a more serious initiative but I don’t think it is as useful as its members tend to think. Their proposals/plans cannot be implemented without the government active action, and since the government… let’s say is not active (to avoid saying doesn’t care) they have no chance to be brought to reality.
          I may have understood their “innocent and naive” approach when they started it but now after 4 years and seeing their 2012 plan went kaput, I cannot get how they didn’t change their strategy.

          Back to Fikra, sure it may help change the life of some participants. I am thinking of those who met their spouse there🙂

        • I read their long report and I found that some of what they proposed is … well … not possible to implement ! even for a real government ! Anyway, I still believe that’s better that nothing🙂 After all, Nebni is the first think tank in Algeria ! isn’t it ?!😀

          … And yeah ! Fikra gave the opportunity to those to good persons to come together to become better🙂

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