I will run for president!

You heard it. I bet you are surprised, but you really shouldn’t. We all know that blogging is not the fastest way to get things done, and this despite what people tell you on the so-called Arab Spring.

So it is decided.

I understand this is not usual and I think I owe you an explanation.

Why now?

I admit I had planned to make the announcement in Q4’2013 but seeing Bouteflika’s friends moving, Benbitour getting ready and Benflis hesitating pushed me to change my plans. This doesn’t mean my competitors are setting my agenda; it is more that I am flexible and can adapt quickly to new situations and challenges. I am even ready to change my name and make it start with a B to be sure my application file will be accepted. I am suspecting the new constitution will deny candidacy to anyone with a last name not beginning with a B. Also, being anonymous and not related to any party or organisation will make it harder for me to get the necessary endorsements, and it is therefore better to start earlier. This is it for this question.

Why me?

Islamic tradition tells us that one shouldn’t run after power positions. Such positions are indeed risky in this life and in the Afterlife. This is why most candidates in  many Muslim (and non Muslim) countries declare their candidacy only after they’re begged to do so by Ad Hoc support committees. Thus, the candidate respects the tradition and is portrayed as the saviour.

I could tell you that my Twitter followers, Facebook fans and WordPress subscribers have all begged me to run for president, but that would be a lie. I am going into this business just because I want to. I’ve always wanted to be the president of Algeria, since a very young age. OK, there’s been a period during which I wanted to become a physicist and receive the Nobel Prize but now that I reached the first part and know that I won’t get the second, it is clear that going back to my first dream is the only sensible thing to do. My objective is to be acknowledged by my people and the world.
Also, I just told you that I knew nothing and that I wasn’t happy with it. Being inside the system is an ideal way to finally have a chance to understand how things work. Imagine all the insider information I could share on this blog!

As many of Algeria’s current and former ministers, I am done living abroad and I think I deserve no less than El Mouradia as an incentive to return home. I have many friends, most living abroad, and I know they’d do wonderfully well as members of my government. So electing me would bring back to Algeria some of the most brilliant of its children.

The third reason is that I am the only among the candidates to speak correctly in Kabyle, Arabic (both fos’ha and dardja) and French. My English is not too bad and I am quite fluent in Chinese, which is an asset given Algeria’s ties with this big country.

What’s next?

I have studied The Prince of Machiavelli and learnt all the lessons from Ait-Menguellet’s song. I have also acquired the basics of running a rich country. I believe I am ready.

All I have to do is to make sure the campaign goes well and you guys support me. I will therefore try to write regularly about my program. It is not something I’ll do to convince you; I mean you know how things go, don’t you? It’s just to be sure the other guys support me and also to make sure France, Britain and the States agree. I will also react on what my competitors will say…

That’s all my dear compatriots and friends. Things won’t change on this blog, just expect some special posts every now and then.
One last thing, anyone wishing to help, financially, let me know through the Feedback menu and I’ll tell you where to send the cash (cheques and bank transfers will not be accepted).


7 thoughts on “I will run for president!

  1. Well, I wish you good luck!
    don’t forget to repeat : “… sinon je rentre chez moi”… “Je ne suis pas un trois quart de président”, then … “tab jnana”…. Don’t try to be original, learn from your elders…

  2. regardless of the massive fraud that’s gonna take place definitely, who’s gonna leave candidate Bellahmar and vote for you?

    • I’ve got 3 supporters already w hadi el biadaya w mazal mazal. See I am using football slogans, I know my people love it. Made me think I should’ve made an official statement on MCA/USMA and Gharbi’s case…

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